The Phat News of Mark

The Hippie Bible

By 2 Hawks

Copyright 2001

All Rights Reserved

Chapter 12

1. Then He began to speak to them in riddles: "A man planted a vineyard and set a hedge around it, dug a place for the wine vat and built a tower. And he leased it to some evil vegans (1) and went into a far country.
2. "Now at harvest time he sent a servant to the vegans, that he might receive some of the fruit of the vineyard from the vegans.
3. "And they took and duct-taped (2) him and then sent him away empty-handed.
4."Again he sent them another servant, and at him they threw crystals, wounded him in the head, and sent him away dissed.
5. "And again he sent another, and him they killed; and many others, blanket-parties (3) for some and killing others.
6. "Therefore still having one son, his beloved, he also sent him to them last, saying, 'They will respect my son.'
7. "But those evil vegans said among themselves, 'This is the heir. Come let us kill him, and the inheritance will be ours.'
8. "And they took him and killed him and cast him out of the vineyard.
9. "Therefore what will the owner of the vineyard do? He will come and destroy the evil vegans, and give the vineyard to others (4).
10. "Have you not read in the scripture:
a. 'The stone which the builders rejected
b. Has become the chief cornerstone.
11. "This was the Lord's doing, 'And it is marvelous in our eyes'? (5)"
12. And some of the high holy hippies sought to duct-tape Him, but feared the multitude, for they knew He had spoken the riddle against them.
13. Then they sent some Hi-Ho's to catch Him in His words (6).
14. "When they had come, they said to Him, 'Master, we know that You are true, and that you do not show special treatment to any man, for you do not regard the fear of men but teach the way of God in truth. Is it lawful to pay taxes to Babylon, or not?
15. "Shall we pay, or shall we not pay? But He, knowing their attempt to dis Him, said to them, "Why do you dis Me? Bring Me a coin that I may see it."
16. So they brought it. And He said to them, "Whose image and inscription is this?" And they said to Him, "The President's."
17. Then Jesus answered and said to them, "Then give to the President the things that are his and to God the things that are God's." And they marveled at Him.
18. Then some of the Hi-Ho's of the focalizers (7), who say there is no life after death, came to Him; and they asked Him, saying:
19. "Master, Moses wrote to us that if a man's brother dies, and leaves his wife behind, and leaves no children, his brother should take his wife and raise up offspring for his brother (8).
20. "Now there were seven brothers. The first took a wife; and dying, he left no offspring.
21. "And the second took her, and he died; nor did he leave any offspring. And the third like wise.
22. "So the seven had her and left no offspring. Last of all the woman died also.
23. "Therefore, in the resurrection, when they rise, whose wife will she be? For all seven had her as wife (9)."
24. Jesus answered and said to them, "Are you not therefore mistaken, because you do not know the Scriptures nor the power of God (10)?
25. "For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like the angels in heaven.
26. "But concerning the dead, that they rise, have you not read in the book of Moses, in the burning bush passage, how God spoke to him saying, 'I Am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob' (11)?
27. "He is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living. You don't know what you are talking about (12)."
28. Then one of the shamen came, and having heard them reasoning together, perceiving that He had answered them well, asked Him, "Which is the best commandment of them all?
29. Jesus answered him, "The best commandment is 'Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
30. 'And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.' This is the best commandment.
31. "And the second best is like it, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."
32. So the shaman said to Him, Well said, Master. You have spoken the truth, for there is only one God, and there is no other but He.
33. "And to love Him with all the heart, with all the understanding, with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love one's neighbor as oneself, is more than all the whole burnt offerings and sacrifices."
34. So when Jesus saw that he answered wisely, He said to him, "You are not far from the kingdom of God." And after that no one dared question Him (13).
35. Then Jesus answered and said while He taught in the temple, "How is it that the shamen say that the Christ is the Son of David?
36. "For David himself said by the Holy Spirit:
a. The Lord said to my Lord,
b. 'Sit at my right hand,
c. Till I make Your enemies Your footstool.'"
37. "Therefore David himself calls Him 'Lord'; how is He then his Son (14)?" And the common people heard Him gladly.
38. Then He instructed them, "Beware of the high holy hippies, who desire to go around in fancy hoodies, love recognition in the trade circles,
39. "And the best seats in the council, and the best places at circle:
40. "Who devour single moms and for a pretense make long oms. These will receive greater judgment."
41. Now Jesus sat opposite the magic hat (15) and saw how the people put money into magic hat. And many who were rich put in much.
42. Then one poor single mom came and threw in two pennies.
43. So He called His disciples to Him and said to them, "Guaranteed, I say to you that this poor single mom has put in more than all those who have given to the magic hat:
44. "For they all put in out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had, her whole hope (16)."

Jesus Kids

Rev. Teddy Craven and Brian Cronin, Editor

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1. Vegans are vegetarian purists that will not eat any meat or anything with yeast in it because of the animal life. They respect all living things. These vegans, however, were evil because although they would not eat yeast themselves they had no problem making it and selling it to others. They were completely Babylonian in heart. Good vegans would never try to prosper off the spiritual pollution of others.

****See our web page on dehydration program!

2. Duct-taping one to a tree is done by a shanti sena to discipline someone.
3. Blanket Party: A person has a blanket thrown on them and everyone beats them anonymously. It is an act of wicked violence or punishment.
4. Israel represents the vineyard. The evil vegans represent Babylon. The servants represent the prophets and John the Baptist. The son represents the Son of God Jesus the Christ. Jesus is talking about His immediate future treatment by the powers that be. He would be crucified and rejected. The crucifixion, death, and resurrection of Christ and the destruction of Israel in 70 A.D have already fulfilled portions of this riddle.
5. Psalm 18:22, 23.
6. Again the high holy hippies were trying to dis His ministry.
7. Focalizers in this case are the Sadducees, a sect of Judaism that did not believe in life after death, resurrection, angels, spirits or demons.
****See the Origin of Demons.

8. See Deuteronomy 25:5.
9. This was a popular argument among the sect of the Sadducees that did not believe in the afterlife. They thought they could dis Jesus here because they felt there was no answer and it proved their case.
10. What scriptures is Jesus referring to here? Check out I Enoch 24:10 and 104:3. Was Jesus quoting the Book of I Enoch?
****See the Book of Enoch.

11. See Exodus 3:6.
12. "God of the living." This means that there is life after death. Those who are righteous go to eternal life with Jesus and all the saints. Those who are evil go to eternal separation with the fallen angels and the demons.
Where do plan to go? Click here!

****See the Origin of Demons.

13. "You are not far" What does that mean? To be accepted by God all one had to do was live what Jesus just taught and to do good works. To be saved and enter the kingdom of God he would need to believe in the Messiah Jesus. We are saved by faith and faith alone. The difference between accepted and saved is Jesus. One could be accepted by the Father but they would still need to go before the throne and be judged for their works. To be saved meant that you were in the kingdom of God now and pardoned from the judgment seat by the atoning death of Jesus Christ at the cross. In other words, Jesus is our attorney and His shed blood at the cross is our plea. By submitting to Him we get plea bargained out of the court of God, the judgment seat, and go directly to heaven as if we were without spiritual pollution or negative history. While this shaman may ultimately be accepted by God he still had to go before the judgment seat of God because Jesus had not yet died on the cross and the shaman had not received Jesus as his plea.

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14. David identified the Christ or Messiah as his descendant and as God. The Messiah Jesus is both. He is David's descendant the son of Mary and Joseph and He is the Messiah God. Jesus Christ is God incarnate. He is fully God and fully man. David reflects that he understood this in Psalm 110:1.
15. Magic Hat: The donation collection bag for food and supplies for the community.

****See turkey Feather Trading Post.

16. God measures generosity by the heart not the wallet. Se Psalm 41

****How to Get Saved!

You are Invited.